pfyre (pfyre) wrote in bean_daily,

1UP at the Movies - Silent Hill

1UP at the Movies - Silent Hill
We head out en masse to see Silent Hill.
by Luke Smith, 04/24/2006

We stormed out of the offices Friday and had a big ol' 1UP Network outing to catch Silent Hill's film debut. Roger Avary penned the script and Christophe Gans directed the film. Considering the source material and all of its problems did Silent Hill overcome them and turn into a solid film or was the flick a solid waste of time? Some of the 1UP Network answered below.

"In the first few wince-inducing minutes Silent Hill crushes whatever shard of hope there was that this would be a good videogame movie (and really, what the hell were we thinking?). It then settles into even worse territory where it's not so entertainingly bad that you can get a kick out of it for that (see Mortal Kombat the movie) nor is it anywhere near watchable as a flick on its own. The result lives in its own little purgatory-like Silent Hill of theater land; one where you might be tempted to jump into the abyss rather than head back into town for the rest of the show." - Garnett Lee

"I dunno, I kind of liked it. It's by far the most faithful adaptation of a videogame I've seen yet in the movies. They got it all right - the atmosphere, the music, even the cheesy dialogue. And it's certainly no worse than 90 percent of mainstream horror films out there. And I like the poignant ending too - they didn't try to wrap it all up and make everyone happy. My only complaint is that it wasn't scary enough. The game was way, way scarier." - Jane Pinckard

"I'll agree that watching Silent Hill felt like a faithful adaptation of a videogame, but I didn't find that to be a good thing. Just like watching someone else play a game, I felt this urge to take control away from the movie and do things myself, because for a good portion of the movie, nothing happened. While the plot was somewhat followable, the dialogue was way too vague and poetic for its own good. And Jane's totally right: while Silent Hill was often creepy, not once was it scary." - Andrew Pfister

"The story was a mess and every time someone opened their mouth we had to either laugh or cringe in embarrassment. Yeah, just like the game. Illogical puzzles? Check. Bad controls? The chick ran into so many walls and tripped over so much stuff that I could honestly believe that she steered like a tank. The only place it missed was in the cinematography. You know what's not scary? When you do a long, loving pan of every monster from the feet up just as soon as it appears. The best part about the Silent Hill games is how they build tension rather than going "Hey, look at the cool monster and/or brutal violence" or throwing spring loaded dobermans through windows every few minutes. The movie misses that. Then again, that might be a fair trade for the Thriller nurses.

Bonus: You could make the world's most misogynistic drinking game for it. I dare you to find a movie that hates women more than Silent Hill. The only thing that was remotely scary about it was knowing that whenever I giggled at their mutilation Jane was going to slap me in the back of the head.

The ending sucked. I think I'm going to watch it again on hard." - Scott Sharkey

"What?! Garnett didn't like the movie?!?


"Silent Hill is the most faithful adaptation of a videogame to film to date. On sheer look and magnitude of weirdness alone, this film captures the Silent Hill series. But the flick's Achilles heel remains with the storyline, which needed a few more drafts, along with the worst dialog I've heard since Attack of the Clones. To really capture Silent Hill to film, the audience should be required to bring a PS2 controller and assigned a life meter. They'll start to worry about making it to the next part of the film because they forgot to save at the last checkpoint, only have one more health pack and the lights just went out..." - Michael Nelson

"'This film is two hours and seven minutes' I whispered into the ear of PSM's Kaiser Hwang during the opening scene of Silent Hill. And while Pyramid Head was as cute and cuddly as expected, it was still the longest two hours and seven minutes of my life. Director Christophe Gans may have nailed the look and feel of Akira Yamaoka's world, but the only horrifying bits in this film were the script, performances and pitiful attempt at story telling." - Jared Rea

"I wouldn't go so far to put Silent Hill in the same level of awful as Bloodrayne but it was flirting with that line. Perhaps I'm so disappointed because I went into the movie with the hope that this might be a semi-decently "good", semi-decently scary movie, only to have my hopes stomped on like Pyramid Head's bugs. I sat next to an intern who I won't name (to spare him) and he was worried about it being too scary. Silent Hill was anything but, in fact I'd go so far as to call it a romantic comedy. The sexual tension between the protagonist and the female cop was as thick as the digital fog in Silent Hill." - Kimi Matsuzaki

"While not on par with some of the better horror movies out there, Silent Hill did manage to keep me entertained. And while I can set aside the freakishly clever ending, there were some small setbacks in terms of the acting and direction. However, the movie did manage to have some big WTF moments, not to mention a good reminder that mother's day is just around the corner because apparently, 'A Mother is God in the eyes of a child' seemed to be the central." - Brooks Huber

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